How To Make a Woman Feel Safe with You
There is SUCH value in making a woman feel safe with you.
In this episode, you will learn the three main ways to build safety so that a girl is attracted to you and wants to move forward with your relationship dynamic. Tune in to learn actionable tips to generate more safety so that you can build deeper connections, increase sexual intimacy and have more success with women. Whether you are frustrated by failed attempts in dating or you’re in a relationship and want to show up better for your partner, this episode is for you.
Key Topics:
00:00 Introduction: The Key to Successful Interactions with Women
00:31 The Importance of Safety in Relationships
02:53 Building Physical Safety
07:32 Creating Emotional Safety
11:08 Establishing Mental Safety
13:21 The Power of Safety in Deepening Connections
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Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] There is one thing you can do to make any interaction with a woman more successful. And it is to make her feel safe. And this episode, we are going to cover how to make a woman feel safe with you and how to use the safety to your benefit in a relationship or on your next date. Welcome back to the naked connection.
This is the show that supports driven men to reach sexual mastery and build deep connections. What is up, you guys it's Kiersten your soon to be licensed sex therapist. And I absolutely love this topic of safety because once you refine your ability to make women around you feel safe. So much more opportunities. Enjoyment and connection will be available to you in so many ways.
This topic in this episode feels like a precursor to everything else that we have, and we'll be exploring. So you really want to stick around for this . If a woman isn't feeling safe. Inner [00:01:00] dynamic with another individual, she is going to step up into her masculine. Way of being, and as you've heard from other episodes, this can be a total killer for generating polarity and desire, and really allowing you to be the amazing man and then dynamic that you truly are. When you support a woman to feel safe with you, she's going to soften, she's more open with you, more trusting. She'll be able to be present and more enjoyable and she likely will even be more open sexually with you as well. If she's feeling safe with you, her sexual expression has a larger space to expand and she might even be more likely to reach orgasm more easily.
These are all things that. I know I have experienced personally and also the other women I have worked with and spoken with have experienced as well. So safety is such a super power for you to step into and. I'm about to share with you the three main ways to make a woman feel safe with you. You guys. Let's get [00:02:00] some.
The first way to generate safety is looking at building physical safety with your girl. The [00:03:00] overarching way to do this is actually to become more assertive.
And I want to share with you a few tips in order to do this. So first is actually taking a physical stance that is a skew to hers. So. Looking at this, in the sense of, if you're in a restaurant or an environment, Not blocking her exit, allowing her to feel safe, that she has the ability to leave at any time.
If you're on a first date, Consider. Not necessarily inviting her to your house where you are immediately alone. If there's no one else around, there's no one else there that could help her feel safe.
I know one time I know someone who on the first date took this woman on a boat. And there's really no scene, no way to escape if you're on a boat.
So whether it's conscious or not, these types of environments innately, generate a sense of not necessarily feeling safe, especially if it's someone that you just met. So the next thing is to be immediate, to shift your body, to physically protect her. So let's say that you're [00:04:00] out and you're at a bar or a restaurant and maybe a fight breaks out. Respond in a way that shows that you are going to step in and make sure that she's okay.
I was once on a date with a guy this is many years ago.
He was in the military. He looked like he was straight out of the set from 300 and we were on this hike together. And. Uh, Snake was on the trail and this guy literally threw me in front of him. he took my body and use it as a shield to protect himself from this snake. So he throws me in front of him. Right in front of the snake and I. I mean, it was hilarious, but I also felt incredibly unsafe and I felt incredibly on attracted to him and not moment.
So what can you do in instances where things happen that. You were signaling to her that you were there to protect her.
Moving your body in such a way that she is physically safe.
The next piece for physical [00:05:00] safety. Is to offer to walk her to her car. If you're finished with a date and you didn't come together, walk her to her car to make sure that she gets there.
Okay. It's such a small action, but we really pick up on it and it really is. These little tiny micro moments that build safety. And at the end of that exchange you can send a quick text to check in. Hey wanted to make sure you got home safe. Or. When it comes to this checking in, you can just say, just making sure that you made it home.
Okay. You know, if you know, let's say that she's going on a long drive or she's camping on her own. Once the, you know, that the experience is over sending her a message and being like, Hey, hope you had a great time. Wanted to make sure that you got home safe. Right. Like as small as that is it really it's signaling that you care about this person and that whether there's a romantic interest or not, , you want to make sure that she's okay. The [00:06:00] next tip for physical safety is that. And this is something that is so simple.
And I cannot tell you the number of times that a friend or a woman that I've been talking to has been rehashing her date. And she shared how much this action that I'm about to share. It made her feel safe and not as walking on the outside of her when you're on the street. So let's say that you're walking to a restaurant or you are walking her to her car. Make sure that you're walking on the side of the sidewalk that is closest to the street.
So keeping her furthest away from the cars or other people.
You also can use a subtle hand placement where you allow your hand to subtly guide down to her lower back. This really communicates to her. Like I got you. Like I'm guiding you. I'm here for you. Now I will say a little caveat to this is that if you haven't been intimate, I wouldn't necessarily start hiring her back and slowly moved down.
This will actually likely make her tense up. But if you've been with someone or if this is someone that you're in a relationship, , taking [00:07:00] this subtle hand placement is a really beautiful way to be like, Hey, like you're my girl. I got you.
So physical safety. And these are just a few tips. So if you have a, if you've done something that's made a woman feel physically safe, please share it, drop it in the comments, let everybody know because , this is a place for you guys to help each other out as well. So please share that.
And this is what's interesting about physical safety. Physical safety with a woman is what is going to generate initial attraction. But it is this next piece, emotional safety. That will make her fall in love with you. Emotional safety is what makes a woman truly deeply fall for you. And I'm going to share a couple examples of how you can do this in your life.
So the first is truly compliment her with words that go beyond the surface. So sure women love to hear how beautiful they look or how great that dress looks or how sexy they are. But if you [00:08:00] can. Offer a compliment in a way that is beyond just her physical appearance that is going to show that. You are here for her beyond the physical, in a more emotional way.
So that is a small little piece about generating emotional safety. The next is to really not use her vulnerability against her. If she shares something intimate with you, whether it's an insecurity, a life experience, a struggle that she's had. Take it. The onus of not using it against her later on.
So not taking this and weaponizing it when you're in a fight or maybe even, you know, if you. If she shares something personal with you, and then the next time you see each other, you're out in a group setting and you share that information publicly. She's not going to feel emotionally safe with you.
And I'll share that, you know, this point is true for anybody. And it's true for you too. If you're, if you share something. Vulnerable with a girl. And she uses that against you. That is a lack of emotional safety that she's providing you. So this, all of this really goes both [00:09:00] ways, , and it's really important.
Another way to generate emotional safety is to really ditch the hesitation or the chilled out vibe energy.
So instead of communicating with the woman sending a text message like, what are you up to this weekend? Send something that's really clear and communicates what you want.
Like. Hey, I hope you're doing well. I would love to take you to dinner sometime this weekend. Are you free Saturday night . This shows that you are leading, that shows that you know, what you want. This shows that you have preemptively thought about spending time with her. And all of these things build. Her attraction to you, her desire to be with you, her emotional connection to you.
And you might think to yourself I am just trying to like, go with the flow.
I'm trying to, you know, I don't really want to. Be rejected. If I asked her to go to dinner on Saturday night and she says, no, but she says she's Friesen. That type of behavior, like maybe that is you [00:10:00] and you don't want to lose that part of you, but I'm just going to tell you right now that if your work, if like your desires to build emotional safety with somebody. Hesitation breeds a lack of safety in the receiver. I always have. Remind myself that clear is kind and hesitation.
This leg. Oh, I'm up for whatever energy communicates. I won't be able to make a decision and I won't be able to step up when needed. I don't know what I want. And like all of those things. You may be thinking, oh, this asleep, they generate a lack of stability. She is unclear with where you're going.
She is unclear with what you want and not generates hesitation in her. It generates. Confusion. It generates all of these emotions that lead to not feeling safe with you.
So the third piece, the final piece here about generating safety with a woman is actually mental safety. And this is all about verbal acknowledgement. Showing that you [00:11:00] value her ideas that you trust her mentally, that you respect her mental capacity. You can share this with her in a few ways.
Let's say that she has gone on a little tangent about something that she's passionate in her work or in her life about. And you can respond by saying. I love the way you think. Or I love the way your mind works. I'll never forget. I went on a date with someone once and he told me that and I love, I was like, oh my God, no one's ever said that to me.
And I ate it up. By saying these things, you're really showing her that her thoughts are not only welcome with you, but they're also safe with you. That her ideas are something that you value and that's an intricate part of who she is. I had a friend recently whose partner. Asked her. I had a friend who recently shared that her partner asked her for insight on a work project that he was doing. And she absolutely loved this.
She felt so seen and valued by him. And she. Was able to experience a deeper connection [00:12:00] with him when her ideas were something that he wanted to hear and wanted to bring into his own life. You know, A lot of people are really aroused by somebody's mind. And if that is your girl, or if that is you. Building this emotional safety is so huge. .
So much a building safety is really actually about being assertive in your dynamic with a woman.
And I will share that slow steps to being more assertive are key here. So these micro-actions of the things that you say, or the way that you engage with her. Walking on the side of the road, sending her that follow-up text message saying that I love the way you think, like all of these little things. Or what really build a foundation for safety with her.
It isn't just one single thing. And I will tell you this, that if you are able to build out physical safety, the emotional safety and the mental safety, like you are. Above and beyond so many of your, so much of the competition that's out there. If there is something that you've done in the past, that. You [00:13:00] know, has made a woman feel safe that I didn't mention today, because I know that there are so many other ways.
Please leave it in the comments. This is a space for all of you, amazing guys to also help each other out. And recognize that generating safety is such a strength for you, and it can really be a tool for you to build a deeper connection and invite in more intimacy and sexual exploration. With that you guys thank you for tuning in and until next time let's get some. [00:14:00]