5 Revolutionary Techniques to Enhance a Woman’s Sexual Arousal

Is your woman getting fully turned on during foreplay or sex?

In this episode, Kirsten addresses a listener’s question about how his partner is not experiencing pleasure during foreplay. 

Whether you are with someone who struggles to reach orgasm or you want to try out new ways to stroke and touch your woman, this episode is for you. Tune in to learn 5 techniques to enhance female pleasure, reduce discomfort, and activate deeper enjoyment and connection.

Key Topics:

00:00 Introduction and Listener's Question

02:30 Understanding the Clitoris

04:13 Technique 1: The Pocket

05:45 Technique 2: Indirect Touch

07:27 Technique 3: The V-Shape

08:49 Exploring the Power of the Thumb

09:46 Understanding the Vestibular Bulbs

10:55 Stimulating the Pleasure Triangle

12:30 General Tips for Effective Stimulation

14:24 Personalizing the Experience

16:02 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

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Episode Transcript

And this episode, we are covering what to do when a woman says that the way you touch her. Isn't enjoyable during foreplay. I'm going to share with you five specific techniques to touch a woman's pussy and body that feel great for her amplifies your connection and increases the turn-on for both of you. Welcome back to the naked connection. 

This is the show that supports driven men to reach sexual mastery and build deep connections. What's up, you guys. It's Kiersten your soon to be licensed therapist 

and this episode is inspired by a listener question. Thomas wrote in saying this. 

The woman I have been seeing has very little sexual experience. She tells me she does not like sex because it hurts her. I'm trying to understand why and the extent of her pain. I started kissing and touching her neck and shoulders. Slowly started touching her breasts and kissing them also. [00:01:00] She was enjoying it, or so I thought. I waited a while before touching her anywhere below the breasts. When I did, she was very wet, but complained that it hurt. I stopped because I did not want to cause her pain. Now I'm confused and afraid to go there again. For the record. 

I did not penetrate her in any way. And yet she says it was very painful. What now? So Thomas, thank you for writing in this question and providing all of this information. I am so glad that you submitted this question because. This is something that I think a lot of couples experience 

if you're in a situation like this, you're probably thinking. 

What the heck I haven't even penetrated you. And this is painful. I don't understand. I think I'm doing all of the right things. I'm moving in a certain pace. I'm touching here. I'm touching there. What am I supposed to do? Where do I go from here? It can be a really hopeless feeling to receive this feedback and to not know where to go. 

So [00:02:00] today we are going to flip that. I want to equip you with particular ways to engage in touch a woman during floor play that can lead to pleasure. Not unwanted pain. See you guys. Let's get some.

Let's start off by talking about the clit. You might think of the clit as this P shaped structure. That's at the top of a woman's labor yet. It's like right at the, at the peak. The apex of all of this beautiful fun, and that is true. And also that is only part of the Clitoris that's only really the external portion of her. So there's actually both external and internal components to the clearest. 

I think it's really important to understand the extent of this body part so that we can learn. All of the different ways and all of the different techniques for not only stimulating the peak of the clit, but all of this body part, and really creating maximum arousal [00:03:00] and pleasure. 

The clit has legs. And also there's these vestibular bulbs that wrap around the vagina and these legs in these bulbs all contain erectile tissue that expand when sexually aroused. So, yes, similarly to how you have a penis that has erectile tissue and it expands when you get aroused, a woman does as well. 

And you can think of the. And you can think of the overall clutters and what I like to consider an upside down wishbone. So it has that peak and then arches out and around. And this body part that clutter is, has literally more nerve endings by square inch than any other part of the human body. It is insanely insanely sensitive. 

So. We're going to take all of this into consideration. We're going to think about the entire entire aspect of a clitoral and a woman's sexual body parts. When we think about how to implement some of these techniques, we're going to get into and really how to bring maximum [00:04:00] pleasure. And minimum pain. The first technique is thinking to pocket it. 

You want to think about. Cupping your hand around the full length of her Labia. So not just going straight to stimulating her clitoris, but really beginning 

by adding stimulation and touch to her entire entire policy. So you can just hold your hand there, like cupping her, like imagining that you're holding onto it. 

I'm like. Kind of making a little cuppings and shave with my hand. And you can post gently or lightly rub, maybe even grind, but very, very lightly. I honestly think in the beginning, if you just put your hand and you down there and cup her entire pussy. And just hold it there lightly. Maybe a little bit firmly. As you're kissing her as you're looking into her eyes and I was holding it there. That can start. The experience of pleasure, right? [00:05:00] Away and it isn't overwhelming. 

So you can move from just simply holding your hand there to adding in that gen dental, pulsing that light rubbing or grinding, maybe a little bit of undulating with the. Your hand in a wave-like motion. And this is great because it isn't directing the stimulation only onto the tip of the clit. And you can give attention to really all of her in this moment. So that's one way that you could start things off that might not be. Overwhelming might not be painful, might not be too much pressure or sensation right away. 

The second technique is to release. 

Start with indirect touch. You don't need to treat the tip of her clitoral as this adorable doorbell that you're just ringing over and over and over again. In fact, you want to start by providing indirect stimulation. And one way that you can do this is to actually layer some of the natural folds of her labia. Over then over that type of her clit to [00:06:00] massage it indirectly. 

So this way you're reducing any friction than my cost of the claim to be overstimulated. Because if you go straight to placing your finger on rubbing her clit, even though there is that hood, that's covering it. As that becomes as she becomes more and more aroused, if she's already wide, if she's already feeling sexually aroused, that hood may be retracting. 

And then you have direct exposure to the tip of the clit. And in the beginning, that can feel really, really overwhelming. So by actually. Using all of her body, you can. Gently fold some of her labia over this tip and massaging that way and reducing that friction that could come directly from the tip of your finger. And you can even do this indirect touch near the entrance to her vagina. 

So very lightly with one finger, maybe circling or stroking near the entrance as though you're about to place your finger inside of her, but not. It's building that sensation. [00:07:00] It's teasing her and you will start to notice if she is getting more and more aroused. She'll love how close you are to being almost inside of her. 

So literally thinking with like one or maybe two fingers. Uh, lightly tracing around the entrance to her vagina to begin to increase that stimulation in that experience of what could come soon. The next technique is I like to think of it as calling it the V shape, like a B side. So maybe we should actually rephrase this to the peace sign technique. 

So you want to think about massaging either side of her clit. And it can be really arousing to, again, tease, tease her a little bit by not rubbing right on the tip of her clit. And instead rubbing on both sides with either two or four fingers in the shape of a V. So you can think about if this is the top of the cloud, if you have. That right here, rubbing up and down [00:08:00] along the sides. 

And again, you can use a couple of fingers here, maybe, maybe using even both hands where you're rubbing up and down along the sides. And this stimulates the legs of the clit indirectly, right? So that the clit and that wishbone shape has those two legs that full down and around. 

So using this peace sign shape, this V-shape of gently rubbing on both sides with either two or four fingers. That's really going to stimulate, not just the tip of her clit, but all of those legs as well, and this isn't placing heavy pressure directly onto her clit, which is really, really something that we want to refrain from doing until you really notice. That her entire being is aroused that she's becoming in Gorge that even the color of her pussy is beginning to change into deeper colors of reds. 

Maybe even purples. 

So the fourth technique here is to actually explore using your thumb. [00:09:00] Depending on your position using the thumb can be a really great way to explore and provide a different type of sensation in pressure. The beauty of FM is that it isn't going to create such a pokey feeling as some of your other fingers will, right. 

It has a larger surface area. It hasn't really. Oftentimes a flat pad, like your finger, your finger pad of your thumb is pretty flat. And so that a larger surface area invites in rubbing and a lighter pressure without that kind of poking sensation that can come with an index finger or your middle finger. Love this technique because it's really using all parts of your body. 

It's not just thinking about how can we traditionally touch somebody. It's about how can I use different parts of myself as well to increase pleasure. And the fifth technique is really all about placing attention on the vestibular bulbs of your woman. So the vestibular bulbs are these [00:10:00] round masses of erectile tissue that sit on both sides of the vaginal opening. So this really, I like to think of it as an upside down heart shape. 

So you have a heart upside down heart shape. And the vestibular bulbs are on the bottom. On the left side and on the right side. And these bulbs are similar to your penis and that they start smaller and limp and will become massively in gorged and swell. So again, not erectile tissue in these bulbs, it's growing and growing and growing the more and more she becomes aroused. 

And the more aroused that she becomes, the larger the bulbs bulbs become. And the more pleasure is welcomed. And I like to think, I think of this as, as a triangle. So if you think of the clit as. The top of the triangle. These bulbs are at the bottom two corners of this triangle. This is a running into geometry class. 

This is a equal lateral triangle. All sides are equal. So on the [00:11:00] bottom two corners is where your vestibular bulbs are. And what can be really fun to do here is to stimulate all three of these areas, one at a time. So maybe starting with stimulating the. Bottom right bulb. Moving over stimulating the left bulb and then coming up to the clit and kind of moving in a triangle in a circle of these three points on her triangle. And when you think about stimulating her bulbs, you want to do this with a little bit of a firmer touch, so slowly stimulating them with firm touch. And. And then as you go to the peak of that triangle, Going up to the clit and, and lightly stimulating the clit. 

And then going back down in more from use. Firmly stimulating the bulbs. I actually think that I'm going to do a full episode focusing specifically on the vestibular bulbs, because I feel like this is a part of a woman's sexual anatomy that is often overlooked and actually can be some of the [00:12:00] most powerful ways to turn her on. 

If you think about it, the vestibular bulbs are really at the base of all of this juicy pleasure. And if you can begin to get this aspect of herself aroused, it leads, leads up and up and up into the peak of her Clara. Harris. So the ultimate goal here is to have tissue all around the opening to her vagina to be so incredibly encouraged that. The tissue might, this might seem strange, but it actually begins to seem almost gelatinous. 

Like it's so wet. It's so lush. It's almost like a gel gelatinous. Touch. It's a weird thing to say, but here we are. So when doing all of these five techniques, I want to provide some really just blanket advice for all of this. 

First and foremost. Go. 10 times softer than you think to start, whatever you [00:13:00] think is soft. If you go to touch or anything. Ooh, this is soft. I challenge you. Go even softer. One of the worst things that can happen during foreplay for a woman's clutter is as that it becomes overstimulated from firm and fast motion too quickly. 

And that can lead to her becoming numb. And. Um, this is challenging because there's almost no return. Once a woman's clit becomes numb in this specific sexual encounter, you'd have to take time for it to. To come down to relax, to return to a normalcy and then reentered to that arousal state again. So. Go slower. 

Truly. I believe going slow means going fast because if you start slow and light with her, it will speed up the process of her overall arousal. If you go hard right away, most times. It's going to be overstimulating overwhelming and lead to numbness and [00:14:00] pain.

Soft light, slow as fast. Okay. And fast is slow. In this situation. And then again, You want to think about stimulating her for a longer periods of time?

 Let's say stimulating her Glen's for 10 seconds. 

Isn't going to get them filled up like the Pillsbury Doughboy. Okay. Slow and consistent buildup is key here. And as you begin to notice her turn on, you can play with firmer and faster stimulation. So the more that, so it's like starting to slowly rev up that engine, starting slow, starting soft and building firmer and faster stimulation as you go. And finally, I want to say this. Every single woman's pussy is different. And I think. I think that's a beautiful thing. And also yes. That means that what works for one woman isn't necessarily going to work for another. 

So this pulls in this need [00:15:00] and this desire to check in with her, to read her, to practice, being really aware of how what you're doing is impacting her. I think this can be really powerful when you begin to. Place your attention in your awareness on the power that you have in VR. Enticing pleasure within a woman. 

So the way that you touch her has the power to bring her into a new state of arousal and pleasure. And that is so, so incredible. So using that power that you have. To really read her to check in. To recognize, Ooh, she really seemed to respond well to that. Oh, she seemed to get kind of quiet and non-responsive. Oh, I'm kind of noticing that things aren't getting water. 

There may be getting a little bit dryer. Ooh. She's like really getting aroused. And don't be afraid to engage in dialogue with all of this. 

If she says that's too much, explore, adjusting, try something different. And I want to say this, if [00:16:00] she's telling you, Hey, I don't like that. Doesn't feel good. Ooh. Let's do something different. Like that's beautiful information. And I think that we're not always, but something to consider. If you are getting this feedback, instead of taking it as rejection, take it as oh. She wants us to be a really great experience for both of us. 

And she's telling me how to adjust here. Let's feed into that. So I hope that this has been helpful. Thomas. I cannot wait to hear how it goes. If you try any of these techniques and intentions out. I truly love hearing from you guys. 

If you have a question like Thomas that you want answered on the show. Be sure to submit it@thenakedconnection.com backslash question. 

So please take a moment, subscribe to the channel, drop a comment below and share what has worked for you with your girl. This is for all of you, amazing men. I am always so honored to be here with you. This is Kiersten. And until next time [00:17:00] let's get some.